Chapter Eleven
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A small trickle of blood traveled down her neck. He had cut her with the glass embedded deep in his hand, but she didn’t care. She wanted to feel the pain, it made her feel something. She had become numb without Simon in her life, walking through the days as they blended together a prisoner in her own life. She would live without him. She would go on. Her colorful life may have turned into dull hues of black and whites but she would live another day, and then another without him.
Him.
Could she live without him? She questioned herself the whole way home.
“Another day has come and gone…”
He was calling her. But she wasn’t home. She was in a world of shadows made of gray and in that world Simon didn’t belong.
“I want to go home…”
He was still calling.
“Hello..”
“I love you too.”
“I know, Si.”
“You’ll marry him?”
“I’ll marry him.”
“But you’ll always love me…”
“Always.”
“I’ll always love you too.”
“I know-“ She stopped. She was too weak to speak any longer.
“Paula.”
“Yes?”
“Spend the night with me?”
Now he was the one saying things. Things she wanted to hear, and yet she was unsure. She could go home to a man who loved her and would give her anything in the world, or she could turn around and go home.
“Paula?”
“Yes?”
“Please…” He pleaded.
She knew he needed her. She knew he couldn’t be alone, not tonight.
“Yes.”
For the first time ever that night she had seen Simon cry. They curled up into bed together, both naked physically and emotionally as they spoke of nothing and shed tears together. They both knew that it was the last time for this. Tomorrow, the sun would rise and their love would fade with dew on the grass in the California summer sunshine. People would be smiling, life would go on, but tomorrow they would mourn a love that was lost, a love that had slipped through their fingertips, gently leaving them both hallow inside.
In the night, Simon looked at her, brushing the hair off her face.
Her and the peace she found with him.
Her and the peace she gave to him.
He had waited his entire life to find this woman, and the moment he did just wasn’t right. Simon looked into the future, hoping one day they might be able to get it right. One day they could meet again, turn things around, and live the rest of their days together. One day she could be the only her that he needed, and him for her.
Though she would never know, she was all he had ever needed. He felt as if he had searched the world far and wide for her, the one to fill him up on the inside, the one that completed his soul.
He found her.
Secretly he would fight for her. He swore to himself, as he watched her sleep, he would fight for her until the end of his days.
And he did.
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