Chapter Thirteen
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The preacher’s words were fading into the distance, as she felt herself slipping into a numb state, not unlike the one her drugs made her enter. She looked at JT, seeing his young innocent smile luminous before her, and even though she was touching him, he seemed so far away. The background behind him was evaporating into mist, all the people to her right barely existed as she began to repeat the words sealing her fate.
“I, Paula Julie Abdul, take you…” The words continued to exit her lips, but she didn’t mean them. She was doing as she was told, being who she was expected to be in that moment. Her heart wasn’t in this wedding, she knew deep down she didn’t want to be there, not now, and if she was truly honest with herself, not ever. Paula knew JT was a good guy, a great guy who would give her the everything he had, treat her right, but she didn’t want what he could give her. She wanted to go home. She wanted Simon, and with Simon she would get the world at her fingertips, everything she wanted because all she truly wanted was Simon. Every thought filled with doubt that she had ever had about this wedding gushed into her mind, wiping the words that she had memorized away. She stumbled, forgetting her words.
“Until we soon part” left her lips.
“What?” JT questioned. His eyes grew wide as he searched her face for an apology, or at least some sort of reaction acknowledging that what she said was wrong.
“Umm..” She stumbled some more. The words were until death do we part, but in her mind waiting until death to part with JT felt wrong. What was she doing? Why would she throw her life away like this, hadn’t she learned her lesson before?
“Whatever you said Paula, it doesn’t matter.” JT said, swiftly saving the day in a Clark Kent kind of way, “I love you. So I do.”
He was slipping a ring on her finger, smiling, his deer in headlights look gone now, the only feeling present on his face was love.
Twenty minutes after Simon had made his swift exit, briskly walking to his car with a cigarette placed gently between his lips, Paula placed a hand on each of the doors and broke free. Her hair was flowing behind her as she walked feverishly towards the exit, her discarded bouquet falling to the floor behind her, a perfect white rose breaking off and scattering after her feet. She cursed herself for wearing four inch stilettos even on her wedding day, but she knew that if she could dance in these shoes, she could run in them. Heading towards the revolving glass door, the one thing standing between her and single freedom, she grabbed her train and her feverish walk became an out and out run. She pushed with all her might on the door, and it turned letting her escape.
In one swift confusing motion Paula hit something and fell to the ground. Her dress flowing out from under her, making a beautiful scene as she laid on the sidewalk, cars rushing past her, people moving, talking, the world hardly noticing she was there. Her eyes searched the blue sky for something that could save her. The cloudless sky just twinkled back at her, and then she saw his face.
“Ms. Abdul, can I ask what the hell are you doing on the ground?”
The moment Paula’s eyes were met with Simon’s she felt her body over come with peace. He smiled a wicked smile; his face filled with something she hardly saw lately, happiness.
“Simon, I thought you’d be gone by now…” She said breathlessly.
He helped her up, her hand on the back of her head, as the pounding of a blunt injury began. Simon helped her to the stairs at the front of the hotel, and there they sat together, her hand in his. Together they were a sight to see, her in her sprawled out wedding gown, him in a tux, just sitting there, staring at each other.
“Why didn’t you leave?” Paula finally broke the silence.
Simon placed his chin in his hand, elbow resting on his knee and thought. He knew that he couldn’t let Paula marry someone, anyone, other than him. But conveying that thought into words without sounding like a jealous raving lunatic was proving to be difficult. It had never been hard to tell her anything, but now confessing his love in any way other than holding her hand seemed to be ill willed. He had just spent a great amount of time telling her to marry this git and now he was coming back to steal her. Where exactly was he suppose to begin?
He took a deep breath in before he began to speak. “I couldn’t walk away from you. I thought I could, but the truth is, darling, I feel like I’ve known you my entire life.” Simon cursed himself for sounding so cheesy but it was only with these words that he could make her understand. “You are my best friend, my one sole confidante and if I were to lose you to another, I don’t feel like I would be able to keep going in life. I thought I could but…“ He took her chin and tilted it towards him with one finger.
“I was wrong.” He said without faltering.
Paula couldn’t believe her ears. Her eyes were literally beaming, not a single tear in sight. Then her a beautiful smile broke out across her face as she poked him in the ribs.
“You wrong? Never!” she gasped.
The playful banter was back. Simon secretly thanked God for the playful banter coming back and smiled his million – dollar – should – be – patented smile.
“Shall we then?” Simon asked.
Paula took his hand in hers and wondered where it would all go from here. Her thoughts were scattered all over the place as Simon drove her somewhere. She wasn’t sure where and she didn’t really care. Simon was with her, and for once in her life she realized that was all that mattered. All the plans, the things she wanted to do, needed to do, they didn’t seem to matter any longer. She had him, and she wasn’t going to let him go again.
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