Chapter Eight
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She was wishing she had brought an umbrella as she was trying to hail a cab to take her anywhere that wasn’t wet, but in England a dry place was always hard to find. Having finally found a cab, she climbed in as he put her luggage in the car. She was drenched all the way down to her lacey undergarments and she wasn’t sure what to do now that she was here.
“Take me to a good hotel” she said loud enough for him to hear.
The driver seemed confused but started to drive away just the same. He couldn’t help thinking this woman had no bloody clue where she was going or what she was doing. Looking into the rear view mirror he realized this was no ordinary wet woman in his back seat but rather a famous American he’d seen on the telly. He couldn’t believe his eyes, but after blinking them a few times he placed them back on the road and tired to think of the fanciest hotel in London.
Paula gazed out the window watching the rain and the people that braved it with umbrellas in hand. She had always loved this country, a love that was instilled deep in her soul, something she never really told anyone because it never seemed important.
Having reached a hotel the driver thought appropriate for Ms. Abdul, he pulled to the side and got her luggage for her.
Paula walked into the lobby glad to be warm and hoping to soon be dry.
She checked into a room and went to change. At least she could show up on Simon’s door step looking good or at least looking dry. She quickly changed and tussled her hair dry with a blow dryer. She reapplied her makeup and put on a few splashes of perfume on the wrist, neck, and inner thigh just in case. With once last glance in the mirror she was out the door.
Walking to the elevator Paula stopped dead in her tracks. What was she doing? Had she really just flown across the world to confess her unwavering love to this man she swore she never would? Putting one foot firmly out in front of the other she confirmed the answer with in herself before speaking aloud. “Yes. I did. Because I love him.”
Another hour later there she was, dressed in a slimming black high waisted skirt then didn’t end until her mid calf and a button up white shirt knocking on his door. It was chilly and she wished she’d been smart enough to bring a coat, but it would be warm in Simon’s house. She had waved to the taxi driver as he pulled away and knocked again. He wasn’t home. She turned to motion to make the taxi come back but it was too late, he was gone.
It was at that moment she became desperate.
What if he didn’t come home?
What if he was still in L.A.?
How could she have been so stupid to fly halfway across the world without first picking up the phone and making sure he was there in the first place?
“God Damn it!” She yelled pounding on the door.
She stood there for twenty minutes, hovelling under the small slant of roof that was keeping her dry. After twenty minutes more, her feet killing her, she gave up and sat on his step, the rain pouring around and on her. Her white shirt quickly became sheer, the cold took over her body causing certain places to lose feeling. With each drop of rain no matter how cold it made her, it seemed to call her in a way. She became less frantic and calmly sat there waiting, though for what she was unsure of for she was positive that he was still miles away in the sunny California weather. Another twenty minutes passed and then quickly turned into two hours.
Her bottom lip started to quiver. Cold had seeped into every bone in her body, but she couldn’t feel it. She was too busy wondering how she could have done this to herself. Finally giving up after three hours she stood up, slung her purse, which was almost like a small swimming pool connected to straps at that point, over her shoulder and began to walk down his driveway.
Her head was hung low in defeat, tears mingling with the English rain that on her cheeks. In that very moment she hated herself. She hated herself for not telling him she loved him every single moment she could.
In the darkness of dusk she was having a hard time navigating his driveway. She stepped carefully in her black four inch Jimmy Choos. She stumbled a small bit and out came a string of curse words which oddly made her feel better. She could hear the traffic moving on wards, never wavering, on the nearby street she was walking to and she could only hope a taxi would be there waiting for her, though she was sure her thoughts were in vain.
However there was no taxi, or rather she never knew if there was because she stopped suddenly at a small glimmer of hope.
Headlights flashed on her and there she stood a literal deer in headlights. She couldn’t see who it was, the lights blinding her.
Simon couldn’t believe his eyes as he pulled into his driveway. Paula was there, standing right in front of him, looking towards him with squinting eyes, soaking wet.
Paula stood there baffled; craning her neck to see who it was that had unknowingly come to save her from this terrible place she thought she once loved. As soon as she saw him something inside her broke. She couldn’t be strong anymore. She broke down crying and stopped, waiting for him to come to her. Simon stopped the car and ran to her.
“What the hell are you doing here?” He said unable to keep a smile from inching across his face.
She lifted her head and he saw the smears of make up running races down her face. She was extremely wet and cold.
“I had to come to you. I had to tell you.”
He pulled her into a gut wrenching hug.
“Tell me what?” He whispered for only her to hear. His warm breath drove her wild as it found places to land upon her ear.
“Simon, I love you.” She told him in a hushed, innocent, incredibly sincere voice.
He squeezed her even tighter. He couldn’t believe what she was saying or even that she had come to him. He had never guessed her to be the crazy romantic among the two of them. He knew he’d scale mountains, continents, even swim across the bloody English Channel for this women, but for her to do this, was something he could’ve never asked nor ponder ever happening.
She pulled away a bit and looked at him. She was home; she could see it in his eyes.
Simon pulled her into a knee weakening lip lock. The moment their lips touched she could feel more hot tears budding. It was the sense of belonging to someone completely, that one feeling she’d searched the world over for. Paula felt herself being free of her romantic bondages. She was letting herself love him. Simon felt the warm tears fall from her eyes and sink to where their cheeks met. This woman was everything to him. When he had thought himself incapable of giving love, she had shown him different. She had taken his broken, damaged, bleeding heart and repaired them. She’d given him a soul. How could he have ever doubted her love? How could he wonder if it was real, these feeling she swore she had but couldn’t show? How could he have thought that he could ever live his life without her?
Her.
Her and her love for him.
These where the only two things Simon knew he needed to live. Fuck oxygen, food, water, shelter, Paula Abdul was all he needed in his life. This was no new revelation but rather the confession to what he had known forever.
She loved him.
He felt it in her lips, like a brilliant firework that was glowing inside of her.
And he loved her.
The stood and kissed for what seemed like forever until Simon could feel her shaking in his arms. Simon ushered her into his car and took her to his home.
Her hands were trembling beyond belief as Simon helped her undress and placed her in his warmest robe. She followed him to the living room where he lit a fire in the fireplace. The house was exquisite in taste, very fashionable, yet lacking a certain warmth. It was as if nobody really lived there it had just been all dressed up for a photo or something. Paula sat down on a beautiful white rug in front of the fire. She was beginning to feel the warmth from the fire, her skin turned soft and dry, her hair matted but soft. Simon returned soon later with a hot cup of tea. Paula was never really a fan of his British tea. It was very strong and he insisted on pour milk in it which to her just seemed very odd.
“Drink it Paula.”
She made a face and started to lay down when he reached a hold of her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.
“You need to warm up or you’ll catch cold.”
She smiled. Simon the nursemaid was not a side of Simon she was accustom to. It was nice to be taken care of beyond the type of “brotherly protection” each of the guys offered her. She took the cup from him and took a sip. She couldn’t help but wrinkle her brow and scrunch up her nose at the taste but nonetheless took another drink soon after. The hot liquid traveled past her teeth and down her throat, warming her from the inside out.
“Can I ask you something?”
She was hoping he would be the first one to speak. She nodded and then turned to gaze into the flickering orange and red flames of the fire before her.
“Are you barking mad to be standing on my door step in the rain?”
She smiled but he couldn’t see it, her back still turned towards him.
“I wasn’t planning on standing in the rain, Simon, I was hoping you would be here.”
“but I am here.”
“Well you are now. Where were you?”
“My Mum’s. I had to talk to her. She calmed me down, helped me realize what I have to do now.”
Paula was taken aback by this. Simon never discussed his mother with her. There was the few oh she’s fines, or the of course she likes yous, but for the most part there was hardly even a faint whisper of her in their life together. Paula crawled towards him and pulled herself up to his knees, placing one hand on each leg.
“And what are you going to do?” She purred.
“Paula, it’s over.”
Her body stiffened and her mind went blank for a few seconds before it started to spin with all the thoughts she had only an hour before. She was so stupid for letting herself love him. She was pulling away, closing herself off to him. She shifted nervously waiting for him to speak again.
“It’s time and I’ve known it for what seems like forever, I was just prolonging the inevitable. I’m sure that she’s known it too.”
Paula’s eyes that had been cast down with his first sentence quickly became alive with his last. She was searching his face, his eyes, for some hint of any emotion but the only thing she saw was confidence.
“She?”
“Terri.”
Paula’s heart suddenly felt whole again, as if the little momentary lapse of feelings that had just flooded it and burst it into two never happened.
“You’re leaving her?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” She asked waiting with breath that was baited for his response.
“Because I want to be with you.”
With those endearing words Paula climbed onto the couch beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. Simon placed an arm around her and kissed her forehead with the kind of kiss that only soulmates shared.
Simon grazed his thumb against her shoulder which was naked due to the robe sliding down her shoulder. He nuzzled closer to her, and she could her the lower tones of his voice beginning to hum.
Soon he was singing the full lyrics to her as she closed her eyes and lived in the moment with him.
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
When Simon stopped due to a lack of lyrics he turned to talk to Paula, but she was asleep. He kissed her on the lips and carried her into his bed. The last line that he sang kept playing over and over in his head. He knew Paula deserved so much more than him, so much more than what he’d given her in the past. As he watched her chest slowly rise up and down he promised himself that he would give her the best he could for the rest of his days. They slept together without sleeping together for only the second ever that night. It was a magically moment and Simon breathed it all in as he rolled over and held her as tight as he could without waking her.
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